Femara, Day 3.
Headache, Day 3.
Extreme drowsiness & fatigue, Day 2.
So, I am CD5, with 2 doses of Femara left to take. As usual, it has been a horrendous week at work (I don’t know if I can even complain about it anymore…I think what I should write about is when work is calm and nice – that would be the abnormal occurrence.) Anyway, it’s been particularly crazy.
On a normal week, I would blame this for my insane exhaustion, but this week I’m on my period and started taking Femara. I am usually fatigued when I have a “real” period, but not to this extent. I’ve been going to bed late, but I ALWAYS go to bed late. So that should make me tired, but not this tired. It’s an effort just to hold a conversation or lift my arm.
I have no idea if this is the Femara or not – it could just be a combo of a lot of other things. The main side effects I keep seeing are drowsiness (check), dizziness (maybe a tiny bit), and headache (3 days, non-stop pain). I’ve also been feeling very nauseous in the morning, which I often do b/c of the Metformin. I’m wondering if it’s been amped up by the intro of yet another chemical into my body. All day today I also felt very “foggy” – like severe-cold-medicine foggy.
(TMI Warning!) And Holy Period Batman! I don’t know if my body has randomly decided to get its ass in gear and act normal, or if it has been encouraged by the hormone or what. CD 4 (the day after I took my first Femara) and CD5 (today) have been like my uterus declaring war on me…which I am – oddly – happy about. For the last few months, I haven’t had a “real” period. I’ve only had very light, brown spotting. No cramps, no bloating, and barely any acne or boob pain. I’m making up for it this week. Cramps that made me tear up today, heavy flow, very red, and enough bloating I think I could be used as a floatation device in the event of a water landing.
Ms. Pessimistic has already awoken in my head, also. I was hoping she’d stay asleep for a few more days. I have started to worry (and by worry, I mean “feel sure”) that the Femara won’t make me ovulate…that we’ll go in for u/s next week and those damn polka-dotted ovaries will look exactly the same. It will crush me. Not that will be anything new; I’ll cry and stamp my feet and write about it on here. Then, Hubby will dust us off, and we’ll keep going. We have no choice.
To make matters worse, I have made the ultimate of mistakes while intermittently typing this post – I googled “Femara PCOS ovulation.” What’s wrong with me? You, of course, can guess what the first thing that came up was. “I took Femara and it did nothing for me.” Well, thanks for nothing Google. Rational brain = You didn’t even read the whole response, Not-So-Fertile Girl. Her case might be totally different than yours.” Infertile Response: = “Oh, God. It’s not going to work for me either.” Why is it that the negative roots so much more easily in my brain? I know someone in person who it seems like has a very similar case to mine that Femara worked for on the 1st treatment (twice!). Why does one random half-way read sentence on Google get to drown that out and steal my hope?
As this is my first real treatment, I can’t say if it’s always like this, but this wait between medicine and CD12 u/s feels exactly the same as a TWW. Only, if it works, I have another TWW ahead of me!
DAY 9: If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course)? List 10 things you would buy or spend money on.
pay off all our debts
dream house w/ hot tub and gym (ocean front)
house for my parents
house for my sister
a fertility specialist that moves as fast as they do for celebrities
a barber-shop quartet to sing a song to my boss about why I’m quitting
This awesome beach chair (I am wondering if my boobs would go into the holes? It’s so impossible to lay flat on the beach (or anywhere) when you are overly boob endowed!)
Hire someone whose job duties are: sort, wash, fold, & put away laundry, clean bathroom, and do my hair (a hair salon hair-washing sink and chair would be a part of this “purchase”). I would pay them a full salary, and anytime left over in the day after doing these 3 things they could do whatever they want with. These are my 3 most dreaded chores, and never having to do them again myself would be beyond luxury.
DAY 10: If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta?
Most: the relief
Least: the terror that will instantly set in that we will miscarry again.