Expelliarmus!

Anyone that has equal book nerd status with me and who also read my last post and can guess what today’s title foreshadows?

Yesterday was our anatomy scan. There isn’t a word that basically means “nervous” that is strong enough to describe Sunday and Monday for me. I was, literally, physically sick. My nausea has been pretty constant lately, but I had only actually thrown up a couple of times, randomly. However, between Sunday & Monday night, I threw up 4 times. My digestive system has never responded well to stress. This usually affects me in a different, unpleasant way, but combined with the already-present nausea, I had no chance. I was plagued by the normal worries of anatomy scan day  (Are they developing normally? Are there birth defects? Etc.). Also, I had my constant companion of just making sure they were both still OK with beating hearts and growing. On top of that, I was terrified that Voldemort had grown. 

Our appointment wasn’t until 1:00, and so it was the LONGEST day of my life I think. I’m sure time was on some kind of slow motion trick. By the time we got to the office, I thought I might actually be sick in the waiting room, but I made it through. We had a different tech than last time, and I really liked her. She was very sweet and positive. When she asked how it had all been going so far, we let her know all about the SCH and how nervous we were. She made a special effort to keep reassuring us through every measurement (and there were a lot!) that it looked good. I felt like hugging her. She could easily have taken the measurements and let the doctor tell us if they were good or bad, and I appreciate her reassuring nature because I would have gone crazy otherwise. She gave me two breaks (the whole thing took about an hour and 15 minutes of scanning). This was nice because I was paranoid to check for any bleeding since I bled last time from the pressure of the ultrasound. Each time I checked, there was nothing. I tried DESPERATELY to not let that fact get my hopes up.

She was really thorough and helpful, explaining all the different things we were seeing and answering our questions. In the end, everything was fine.

Our babies are fine.

They looked great. All the measurements were good. They have all the organs and bones and fingers and brains they’re supposed to. Their size was perfect for where I was (16w4d). In the end, there wasn’t a question when she asked us if we wanted to know the sexes. The thought of not finding out didn’t seem to even cross Hubby’s mind, and I really didn’t want to wait once I was in the moment. Obviously, this was helped by the fact that she’d done the measurements on the first baby before she checked that last, and we knew things were looking good. I’m not going to spill the beans here just yet. We’ve told parents and sisters, but we’re going to take a few days to ourselves with that news before we tell the world.

Throughout the process, Baby A was very cooperative – just like last time – posing for the various pictures. I was amazed by what we saw. Baby A seems obsessed with its little hands – waving them all around and almost looking like it was playing pat-a-cake! In a moment that absolutely melted my soul, we saw this little one opening and closing its mouth practicing its breathing movement, and then look like it was sucking its thumb. <3  After a while, this little one had apparently had enough, and put both of its hands over its face, as if to say, “That’s enough. Leave me alone.” The only time it became uncooperative was when they were trying to get a measurement at the back of the brain (I think the cerebellum). Just wouldn’t turn its head the right way. We tried having me lay on my side, and poking my stomach with the ultrasound thing (which scared me, but made me realize that its probably OK if my puppy rests his paw on my bump, if that wasn’t hurting the baby). I found it hilarious and cute the way the tech talked to the babies like they could really hear her. In the end, she opted to look at Baby B and then come back to Baby A’s head.

Baby B was not as cooperative – just like last time also – but in the end, they got all the measurements they needed. We still weren’t able to get Baby A’s head to cooperate, so the tech gave up, and walked us to our consultation room to wait for Dr. HROB. It took FOREVER! This isn’t a great time to make patients wait. I realize we weren’t the only people in the building, and Dr. HROB had a lot of pictures to look through, but every minute she didn’t come in, I worried that there was something the tech hadn’t told us. That there was a problem. This feeling was exacerbated when our lovely tech came back in and said she needed us back in the U/S room.

Turns out that Dr. HROB wanted her to try and get the brain measurement again from Baby A because its apparently one of the most important that they need at this appointment. I guess Baby A could tell we weren’t going to leave it alone until we got this picture, so it decided to cooperate. That looked normal too. 

It wasn’t too much longer until we got to talk to Dr. HROB, who was pleased with what she was seeing. She seemed a tad worried about their size for a minute until she asked about our due date. I explained for the BILLIONTH time that everyone kept measuring it from my last period, instead of using the information about when my ovulation was triggered. I didn’t expect her to listen any better than anyone else, but it frustrates me. I didn’t have a normal cycle, so you can’t date the pregnancy the same way, and I was getting awfully tired of explaining at every appointment that I wasn’t quite to the week they kept saying. Then, something lovely happened – she listened to me, and said, “Well I’m going to fix that today.” In the end, it only changed my due date by 3 days (which is how many days off my trigger was from “normal” ovulation.) She went to correct the date in the computer, and that satisfied her about their size.  She said she would let Dr. W and Dr. C know b/c Dr. C likes to keep up with the pregnancies, even though he doesn’t treat you after 11 weeks. That made me happy to hear b/c we do miss him and that whole practice.

She talked to be about the PCOS and that they’d still like me to do my Gestational Diabetes screening earlier than usual – sometime in the next month. She told me that between the twins and the PCOS, I can pretty much count on having GD at some point during the pregnancy; it’s just a matter of when it “kicks in.” I pretty much knew this, but it still sucked hearing it “officially.” She suggested that I go on the American Diabetes Association website and become familiar with their diet recommendations. Until we find out that I actually have GD through screening, I don’t necessarily need to follow this completely, but she said it would help if I could follow as many of their suggestions as possible. Plus, it’s a healthy diet. Now, I have discussed my issues with food on this blog before, so I’m not going to get into it, but there wasn’t one suggestion she listed when going over the basics where I thought, “I can do that easily.” It’s going to be a struggle for me; especially since I’m having so many food aversions. I talked with Hubby yesterday, and told him that until I am diagnosed with GD, I’m not going to follow a strictly diabetic diet. However, I am going to spend a lot of time learning about diabetic diets, and I’m going to start making changes in my diet to reflect this. I’m going to work very hard to “get over” some of my issues with healthier foods. Now, obviously, if despite improving my diet, I am diagnosed with GD, I will follow any and all restrictions I need to. These are my children, and they are more important than anything. I will do whatever I need to in order to get them here and healthy. However, I’m not going to turn down some chocolate on Valentine’s tomorrow in case I might have GD sometime down the road. The good thing I discovered as Hubby and I inspected my “frequent flier” foods in the fridge and pantry last night is that my most common snack fits into this type of diet well. 

Now, to an exciting part of this post…the reason for the title. Voldemort has disappeared! WHAT?! But, Not-So-Fertile Girl, you just had a red bleed on Thursday? How can your SCH be gone on Tuesday?? I asked myself and the doctor the same questions. The tech looked all around for the bleed. She even did a vaginal ultrasound after she finished measuring the babies to see if the bleed had moved down closer to my cervix (at last check, it was “above” one of the babies. She couldn’t find the bleed anywhere! While she was looking, she did  point out that Baby A has a low placenta (near my cervix), and its head was pushing right up against the edge of the sac and the placenta. 

On some side-notes, my cervix was closed and nice and long. Yay! The babies are “top and tail” at the moment, with Baby A’s head near my cervix, and Baby B’s feet near the cervix. What was interesting was that the babies were “vertical” and this was the first time we could see them really “next” to each other. While we were measuring one, the other would try to sneak a limb into the picture. The tech said she couldn’t see any indication of the “heart-shaped” uterus discussed at my last appointment, so possibly that was just where the babies had originally implanted and the positions they were in at the time. I guess time will tell on that one.

When we met with Dr. HROB, she said that she could not see any indication of the SCH in any of the pictures either. She told us that this indicates that it is “resolving.” She told me that sometimes with a low placenta, especially with the baby putting some pressure on it, that could cause some bleeding, but that it’s not a big concern or anything. So possibly, my SCH has been resolving (explaining the long time between red bleeds) and either:

A) The small bleed last Thursday was the last bit getting out.

B) The small bleed last Thursday was actually from the low placenta, and not my SCH at all.

C) Something else altogether. (I made this option up b/c I have a hard time accepting good news these days!)

Based on this information, Dr. HROB does not want me to go back to work just yet. While making this decision, she asked me if I “work outside of the home,” and her eyes bugged out a little when I told her I teach middle school. She wants me to gradually up my activity at home, doing some “light, but normal” things around the house over the next two weeks, and possibly some not-too-strenuous things outside the house. I won’t be doing any kind of lifting really (so, I guess I can’t take back over laundry duty – damn! ) After about a week of this, I think I will attempt a slow-paced trip to Khol’s with my mom to purchase some desperately needed bras. I have ONE bra that I can get around these things, and it’s starting to be uncomfortable now, too. I was hovering around DD/E before I got pregnant, so goodness knows what I am now. Giant and uncomfortable (and torturous for Hubby). So, I need to go somewhere with a good selection in upper-sizes. Bras aren’t something you can just buy online easily. They REALLY need to be tried on, so I’m really hoping I’ll get to do this relatively soon. Dr. HROB said that I will still experience some brown spotting, which I’ve had a reasonable amount of today (spurred on by all that U/S pressure yesterday, I’m guessing), and that is fine. She said if I have another red bleed to then reduce my activity until it stops, but to call and let her know just so they can keep up-to-date.

I will see Dr. W. again in 2 weeks, so I will check in with him then about the slightly increased activity and how the hopefully non-bleed is going. I will see Dr. HROB 2 weeks after that. If I had to guess, I would say that Dr. W won’t want to send me back to work until I see HROB again, but we’ll see. So, I’m looking at 2-4 more weeks off work. I’m not feeling to bad about it though because I’m not completely stuck in the bed. Last week, I was really missing teaching. Then I graded some papers – instant frustrated stress! I don’t miss it anymore. I really would hope that they would let me go back by March 5th b/c I have to start disability pay on the 6th, which is only 50% of my salary. We will cope if this happens, mostly due to helpful parents that we are beyond lucky to have, but for obvious reasons, would really like to avoid that. My appointment with HROB is not until March 12th, so I don’t foresee getting to go back to work before then, but who knows? Maybe she’d let me go back after that, and then I’d only be down to 50% for about a week. We could handle that if we plan for it carefully.

For some reason, I am very hesitant to say that Voldemort is GONE. I’m a little too traumatized by this point, I guess. I can’t help thinking that something is still going to go wrong and it will come back and I’ll bleed again. I am comforted by the fact that I had no red bleeding from the ultrasound pressure (like I did last time), which confirms in my crazy brain what the tech and the doctor told me. I’m sure as time passes, I will be able to accept it if I become more active and don’t bleed anymore. We’ll have another ultrasound in a month, so I’ll be able to confirm again that they can’t see it. That will help I’m sure. Anyone else had a hard time accepting/believing it when their SCH resolved?

I’m going to take this “increasing my activity” business slowly and carefully. At Hubby’s request, I’ve kept it pretty low-key today. I made myself a simple omelette for breakfast, but then I let my parents wait on me the rest of the day (bless them). I took a shower and sat/laid on the couch for dinner. I have experienced an EXTREME luxury of sitting in a reclining desk chair to type this post on my DESKTOP keyboard – something I have missed oodles. I hate laptops. I’m old school when it comes to writing. I’d probably type this on a type writer if it was possible!

Yesterday, I was on an unbelievable high. I was so relieved and excited. Today, I am still happy and hopeful, but I am a little more cautious. I suddenly have about a zillion things I want to blog about. Perhaps some of the pressure being lifted is going to get me out of this lethargic funk I’ve been in lately. 

*Thanks J.K. Rowling for letting me borrow your made up word for my title. And the name of your villain.